Binitam's Weblog

fears….. of any one… of any age….any where

Binita Modi — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:48:39 +0000

My fear, I shall fail

No matter how much i try to sail

My fear, i might lose

So many ways, difficult to choose

My fear, i shall fall

while intending to always stand tall

My fear, i may tumble

as many think i’m not that humble

My fear, i may cease to laugh

while always trying to make others laugh

My fear, i may stop crying

with the prospect that i’m always trying

My fear, i may not feel;

while unknown wounds i try to heal

My fear, i might become heartless

while i praise everybody with a God bless

My fear, i may stop talking

seeing that its hurts with my talking

My fear i might noot go out with anybody

as i seem to argue and disagree with everybody

My fear, i might not sing

as i am too lazy fot the emotions that i’m supposed to bring

My fear, i may not dance

or some might say its just her another show-off chance

My fear i might not pray

for it is believe that in front of some i make my hay

my fear, i might not love

for m i’m often told i dont know how to love

My fear, i might not speak

for i screw up things whenever i speak

My fear i’ll be left alone

For all the bad that i have supposedlly sown

My fea, i”ll be deserted

for all the false beliefs that i have asserted

My fear, I may not live

while i struggle to merely exist and never reprieve

My fear, i’ll be misunderstood

For I’m always criticised for my changing moods

My fear, I’ll be misled

For i fail to differentiate between the good and the bad

My greatest fear, i am frightened of every single thing

That i fear if if strength and courage to my heart i can ever bring!!!!!

some oldies….

Binita Modi — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:02:14 +0000

Perfection

Perfection is the purity of heart
Which makes impurity apart
It is the purity of mind
Which makes a person so kind
It is the purity of body
With no chance of a folly
It is the purity of skill
Which always gives us a will
It is the purity of ambition
Which makes possible every mission
It is the purity of ability
Which cultivates a sense of nobility
Perfection is only a creation
Which is required to complete every relation

Poem on urbanization

For comforts to be satisfied
Man made a civilization
For the growth of urban areas
Man made urbanization
We claim to live in urban areas
But do not fulfill the criteria
Of housing, wetlands, forests and space
We proud to be urbanized
But are we organized
To solve problems which remain immobilized?
We crave for a good life
Why we never ever strive
To prosper, grow, think and thrive?

Art

Art is magic
Which describes feelings – happy or tragic
No wonder it is so creative

Art is a joy
Which dwells in a particular girl or boy
Thus, selective of an innovative mind

Art is not what we draw, dance or sing
It is what our heart, mind and soul bring
From the deepest of our feelings to hand, body and throat

Pain

Pain is no longer pain when it is past
But sometimes it does not heal fast
For it is deep and hurting
It makes the lips curling
The pain giver is as innocent as we are
Though we think he is not what we think is
And keep him behind a dark black and lonely bar
The pain should be tried to heal
Or it may get converted into a seal
Which packs the heart so tightly
Which only a sharp and loved person could feel

Life

Life is full of joys and sorrows
No matter which simplest solutions you borrow
It is never completely lived
As half of the life is believed
To be the gift of God
Life is of course an ice cream
Which would one day surely melt
And today I think the day has come
When as dead I have ever felt
In a few days my soul will be vanish’d from my body
Nowhere will it be seen
Nor this is the worst that could have ever been

Savior

Water, a powerful element
Destructive or constructive
Never shall thou challenge
It changes thy life in a moment
It is the source of being
Which mankind happily pollutes
Such devilish acts are
Not worth a hundred salutes
Come, come, lets do something
To change the minds of mortals
Or it will be too late to save
And the globe will be left with nothing

Binita Modi — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:17:41 +0000

why does it always have to be this way!!!… why cant we get a peace of mind for a little while??.. why do we always have to measure our words before we speak??.. why cant everything be as simple as it seems to be???… why does the sun always make us feel warm or hot why not cold and shivery??…why not fire but water???…. why cant we live forever when we say the word forever???>… why does everything have to be soo difficult???… why is it that we cant get want we want always???… why is it that we hurt the people we love the most??… why do we wish we could die but we are held back by our own hearts n by our own feelings??…. why cant teachers be a little less irritating than they already are???… why do only we have to try n understand the other side of the coin when no one lese is ready to do that???… why do we have to fight back when theres no one to support us???… why do we dream when most of are dreams are shattered even before we open our eyes???… why do we feel lost even when we are standing in the middle of crowd???… why do we all feel we are at fault when we know we are not and we still blame ourselves coz dats more easier???…why is it soo easy to break relationships n almost next to impossible to make them???…why do the eyes speak more than words???… why does economice have to be soo difficult ???>.. why do we have soo many projects and assignments ??? why do we have to study soo much??… why cant we stop studying even if we dont like it????… why cant we sit idle during exams even if we dont like exams???… why do marks always decide what a person is worth doing???..why do we always crib bot such things ??.. why am i writing all this when i know that hardly a part of it bothers me and the rest is a;ll the complaints that most of us seem to have or are facing but always find some or the other solution to it???…

dunnno juz felt lik writin sumthn that dusnt make sense to me alist .. but it probably does to others…

i am reminded of one of ma favorite song here- hard to love by The Wreckers

why do you make it hard to love you

why cant you even start to try

coz now i feel a bridge is burning …ohhh..

and now the smoke is in ma eyes….

i realise i never let them know me

i always want to be right

took another mistake to reallly show me ..ohhh…

exactly what they were like…

i ve been wrong but i ve been changing

i ve bin wondering what to do

here i am alone and waiting … for you

why do try to make them happy

why am i always playing nice

it isnt easy to tryin to tell you

exactly whats on ma mind

i ve been wrong but i ve been changing

i ve been wondering what to do

here i am alone and waiting… for you

i ve been wrong but i ve been leading .. for you….

i ve been wrong but i ve been changing

i ve been wondering what to do

here i am alone and leaving… for you

leading… leading… for you

pain.. the best companion..

Binita Modi — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:00:50 +0000

BE SURE!!!
theres one thing that will never abandon you..never leave you…never betray you…never ditch you…
its pain.. the best companioin…a loner can have… a lonely can have.. n an alone can have….
the best friend of those who sleep in the shadows of broad daylight n are awake in the moonlight of long never ending nights…..
a guide for those seeking help..n even for those who seemingly don’t seek anything…
pain..it walks with you,talks with you, runs with , stops with you, sleeps with you, gets up with you, sits with you, smiles with you, laughs with you, cries with you , gets angry with you, loves you, hates you, strangles you, troubles you, plays with you, falls with you,gets ill with you, becomes happy with you , sad with you…. lives with you.. forever n forever….
no doctor…no physician… no cardiologist,… no yogi… no one NOT EVEN GOD….can take away the pain from you… though it may be soothed on temporary basis.. but not permanently…
its eternal n everlasting…
it is born with us.. grows with us…lives with n also dies with us…
when each of us know that we cant escape pain … then why do v run try to make even an attempt to run away???? why do we hide behind our own shadows when we know that
pain is our shadow…
y do we baptize ourselves when we know pain cant be washed away….
turning on the lights casts away shadows but pain isn’t something that can be cast away???
why do we consider that pain is a punishment for our sins and not a reward for our deeds???
y do we run away from our own decisions fearing pain when in our fear itself is present ..pain!!
y do consequences of what we do hurt more then the causes for which we do things????>..
God gives us pain so that we know the difference between pain and happiness.. then why do we crave only for happiness when we are soo unaware of the pain that resides in our soul intact .. untouched.. unheard..unfelt..unseen…
To remove a thorn that hurt in our feet we make use of another thorn… when these two come together .. it pains like …reallly much.. but then the relief that follows cannot be compared to the pain we went through…
same way to get out of life’s pain.. you need a bigger n stronger .. n more painful pain.. that slaps you on the face n tells you.. that reality is painful n you cant go away from me… you can only recognize me.. and learn to live with me.. so that none of us are unfair on the other….
pain is physical mental.. psychological.. or wadeva .. but pain is pain… no matter how much you try to avoid it … it finds you..rapes you.. tears your soul apart.. only to help you mend it again…
want to lessen your pain??>.. get used to pain… n kill it with a greater pain…
fighting is what we have learnt and soo shall be.. after all jesus ….had to bear soo much pain.. not because he was sinful.. because .. he was aware of the power of pain… that can possess us .. or that can be possessed by us… let not pain decide what we do.. what we want to do.. let us decide .. how much.. pain we want to suffer from ..

sounds too impossible..too easy to write….
but u know what…we all know its true.. we all know….that somewhere..sometime we all.. face this debate of pain and suffering..
but not all suffering is bad and painful.. while all bad and painful things are sufferings………

k now i am damn confused too.. so i should stop!!!>…..pain is knocking at the door!!!;););)

Binita Modi — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:08:46 +0000

Believe

Believe in yourself, believe!

In the sun and the moon

In the earth and the universe

In day and night

In darkness and in light, Believe!

In good and bad

In the sane and the mad

In the peace around you and in the war inside you

In religion and science alike

In customs and God unlike

In heaven and hell, believe!

In the depths of oceans and in the boundless sky

In friends and enemies

In the rich and the poor

In what you do and in what you want to do, believe!

Just believe and the rest will take care of itself

Who knows your belief can change the world itself

For your belief is with you, within you, traveling with you wherever you go

So use it, utilize it for good

Of people who fear to believe in belief

So that they understand what it is to believe and live

Friendship

To be yourself and make the others do the same

To have fun in every hour of the day

To give everything and take nothing

Is friendship

To love unconditionally and never envy

To die and let the other live

To cry and let the other laugh

Is friendship

To support without showing

To believe without doubting

To care without thinking

Is friendship

some more random thoughts…..

Binita Modi — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:07:40 +0000

Dreams remain dreams if we do not dream

Dreams come true if we dare to dream

Goals are achieved if we set a goal

Life is full of sorrows if we do not live

Life is full of joys if we dare to live

Life is full of happiness if we dare to be happy

Life becomes dark if we do not light a candle

Life becomes bright if we dare to light a candle

Commitment becomes a duty if we do not commit

Commitment becomes a responsibility if we dare to commit

Friendship becomes painful if we do not believe

Friendship becomes painless if we dare to believe

Belief becomes blind if we close our eyes

Belief becomes wider if we dare to see everything

Faith becomes a misinterpretation if we do not understand

Faith becomes a correct interpretation if we dare to understand

Relief becomes a poison if we hardly work

Relief becomes a cure if regularly work

Life becomes terrible if we do not smile

Life becomes beautiful if we dare to smile

Relationships become lame if we are anxious

Relationships become steady if we dare to be calm

Defence become weak if we do not fight

Defence becomes strong if we dare to fight

Trips become dangerous if we are not adventurous

Trips become interesting if we dare to be adventurous

Battles are lost if we do not take a risk

Battles are won if we dare to take a risk

Life becomes a bane if we do not love

Life becomes a boon if we dare to love

Emotions become irresistible if we do not control

Emotions become resistible if we dare to control

Pain increases if we are pessimistic

Pain decreases if we dare to be optimistic

Life becomes a hell if we do not adjust

Life becomes a heaven if we dare to adjust

Art becomes a difficulty if we are not creative

Art becomes easy if we dare to me creative

Codes are codes if we do not decipher

Codes become meanings if we dare to decipher

Ideas disappear if we do not opine

Ideas appear if we dare to opine

Change is bad if we do not accept

Change is good if we dare to accept

Ambitions lead to nowhere if we do not work for it

Ambition leads to everywhere if we dare to work for it

Courage is false if we fear to prove it

Courage is true if we dare to prove it

Fear kills if we do not overcome it

Fear has no effect if we dare to overcome it

Possible becomes impossible if we do not try

Impossible becomes possible if we dare to try

Errors become crime if we do not correct

Errors are negligible /become discoveries if we dare to correct

Mistakes become unbearable if we do not forgive

Mistakes become a lesson if we dare to forgive

Patience becomes a problem if we are impatient

Patience becomes a solution if we dare to patient

Curiosity is complicated if we are not curious

Curiosity is easy if we dare to be curious

War is a sin if we are selfish

War is a deed if we dare to be selfless

Peace is harmful if we are never quiet

Peace is grateful if we dare to be quiet

Silence is a slow poison if we are wrong

Silence is a quick medicine if we dare to be right

Life becomes meaningless if we do not dream

Life becomes meaningful if we dare to dream

Reality feels like thorns if we are unreal

Reality feels like flowers if we dare to be real

Success leads to adversity if we do not take an effort

Success leads to prosperity if we dare to take an effort

Failure discourages if we do not succeed

Failure encourages if we dare to succeed

Friends become devils if our choices are wrong

Friends become angels if we dare to make the right choices

Ability is a shame if we do not use it

Ability is an honor if we dare to use it

Life is absent if we do not flourish

Life is present if we dare to flourish

Good becomes bad if we do not face it

Bad becomes good if we dare to face it
a ‘yes’ becomes a ‘no’ if we do not decide

A ‘no’ becomes a ‘yes’ if we dare to decide

Hope turns to despair if we do not hope

Hope brings a ray of light if we dare to hope

Sky seems dull if we do not look at it

Sky seems a cluster of stars if we dare to look at it

Promises are broken if we do not follow

Promises are fulfilled if we dare to follow
A path is too long if we do not walk

A path is too short if we dare to walk

Life is incomplete if do not give

Life is complete if we dare to give

Mysteries remain mysteries if we do not explore

Mysteries unfold if we dare to explore

Opinions remain opinions if we do not speak

Opinions are considered if we dare to speak

Knowledge curses if we do not learn

Knowledge blesses if we dare to learn

…all the people i care for…

Binita Modi — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 14:03:02 +0000

In the wake of events that took place

I mourn the loss of someone special

For whom I really cared

It took me lot of pain to do something I shouldn’t have

But I had to for the well being of that someone special

I took the thorns and gave the loved one all the flowers

I took all the pains and sorrows

So that it may live in joy and happiness

But, o lord, what situation is this

Where I can neither say nor express myself but remain silent

For I must

To protect someone who deserves to be happy

And for that silence is good even if it increases my pain

It is good for it decreases someone’s pain

May I be forgiven for what I have done

May the divine light give us all the power

To understand who we are

And what purpose we serve on this earth

If it were true.. then i would have been on the same side of the river as you!!!!!

Binita Modi — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 10:34:01 +0000

You say that love can’t be killed.. may be you are right .. but what if you are unable to love or don’t wanna love.. is there a question of killing love then????…

i know its a very unusual thought.. rather evil…NOT to love and all…

but you know what.. your love makes me go far away from love…the love you believe in…even from the very feeling of love…

i loved ..i did love once upon a time.. my friends ….who abandoned me..who just left me..

but i still didn’t stop loving them and caring for them.. i loved..loved a person whom i thought to understand more than myself.. love more than myself …and he too just left me..gave me a rude slap on the face.. walked away and just didn’t care…

But STILL.. i love him…..

Perhaps my love is different.. more selfish…,more hidden than that of yours..unexpressed and worn out, lifeless and hopeless..caught in the bars of my own fears and hesitations and doubts,caught in the chains of my own principles, duties and responsibilities….

i do not suppress my feelings.. my feelings suppress me..which is why more often than usual i just dont listen to them..

you say i will regret all what i am doing or saying now..not loving and making an attempt to love but i feel…

sooner than later you will regret loving me.. a person like me.. with a closed mind and soul…a person who deserves nothing but loneliness..for all those times i have hurt the people who love me the most..

you are right.. if you were able to deny your love and all of it.. you would have been much much more happier than what you seem to be..love arises temptations desires and obssessiveness.. which i dont say is wrong but not entirely right also…ultimately driving you insane..

i do not oppose love in any way but at the same time i do not support it either..

i……..ALWAYS AM short of words to express..what i really feel at times..about “love”..about..what i really want…

may be my perception of love is very unusual and probably wrong..but then tell me what is right ??..you say i am a prisoner of my past,if i were i would have never moved on, never let gone of my loved ones,never would have let them have their ways..

yes my past is a very important reason for changing my ideology about love and all..yes my past has changed me into what you see me today.. but i am not living in my past..

i want to keep all my emotions aside and follow just one path..that of my dreams..which at present have no place for love and feelings and relationships…mainly new ones..

i live not to love.. i do not love to live…may be because i know of its powers.. whisch makes me shudder now..

ever wondered why i don’t dance most of the time.. or sing when i am very good at it.. and i know it..because.. i fear to express my feelings…i …

i do not expect you or anyone else to understand me because..honestly i do not understand myself any better..

the only thing that pricks me is that everyday every moment i make a person suffer who loves me…which seems to have a become a punishment for him rather than being a blessing..

i curse myself for being so helpless , not being able to tell him that.. please….don’t love me so much.. i am sorry but i doubt i will ever be able to love you the way i love the only person i have ever ever ever ever managed loved from the time i first felt love……….

i know someday you’ll read this.. but i request you this time not to answer me back.. because this time i will; have nothing to say to you…or nothing to answer you…

My soul…

Binita Modi — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:19:19 +0000

My Soul

In the heart of a lake

For a good heaven’s sake

The caption of a mermaid

Always keeps me awake

She was true and worthy

For she never thought dully

For I remember her blessing

Which was as much wealthy

No, no she is not the one

You think is a fun

But it is someone

Whom everyone believes as Omen.

A search…

Binita Modi — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:09:38 +0000

While crossing the river of my thoughts

the young man stopped amidst

he looked here and there

neither me nor my heart he could see

he searched for me in waters so deep

he hunted for my soul hidden in the wavy leaps

i hid from him afraid he might know

that i am someone who does not really show

i guard my dreams, my thoughts and emotions

as if they’ll be stolen, a very unusual notion

but the young man never gave up

he continued to sail in the storm of my fierceness

he went to ends sailing in the ocean of my happiness n stress

each moment, every minute , i became afraid

afraid, he might find me, find me from my land

but his hope and passion were always at its peak

and seeing this , i realised only meand me , he seeks

i gace in and showed myself

seeing me he leapt in joy and spoke to the universe itself

i softened at the intensity of his gaze

which seemed to me like an illusive embrace

he held my hand and said to me,

“i love you, i care for you but don’t know what you think of me

i searched for you, i slogged for you

And i found you , i found you”

i slowly lowered my eyesand stared at the bare ground

my mind and heart racing round and round

a long agonising silence we shared

felt as if hundreds of years had passed since i had cared

for someone so pure and true

for someone who stood by me through and through

words failed me each time i tried to say

words failed him each time he tried to pray

and when i looked again into his eyes

we both saw the core of our soul’s ties

it was a moment of eternity

it was a moment of divinity

thet moment lasted for many million moments

and when we both raised our hands……………..

i think, the scene is left unfinished for you to torment!!!