If it were true.. then i would have been on the same side of the river as you!!!!!

You say that love can’t be killed.. may be you are right .. but what if you are unable to love or don’t wanna love.. is there a question of killing love then????…

i know its a very unusual thought.. rather evil…NOT to love and all…

but you know what.. your love makes me go far away from love…the love you believe in…even from the very feeling of love…

i loved ..i did love once upon a time.. my friends ….who abandoned me..who just left me..

but i still didn’t stop loving them and caring for them.. i loved..loved a person whom i thought to understand more than myself.. love more than myself …and he too just left me..gave me a rude slap on the face.. walked away and just didn’t care…

But STILL.. i love him…..

Perhaps my love is different.. more selfish…,more hidden than that of yours..unexpressed and worn out, lifeless and hopeless..caught in the bars of my own fears and hesitations and doubts,caught in the chains of my own principles, duties and responsibilities….

i do not suppress my feelings.. my feelings suppress me..which is why more often than usual i just dont listen to them..

you say i will regret all what i am doing or saying now..not loving and making an attempt to love but i feel…

sooner than later you will regret loving me.. a person like me.. with a closed mind and soul…a person who deserves nothing but loneliness..for all those times i have hurt the people who love me the most..

you are right.. if you were able to deny your love and all of it.. you would have been much much more happier than what you seem to be..love arises temptations desires and obssessiveness.. which i dont say is wrong but not entirely right also…ultimately driving you insane..

i do not oppose love in any way but at the same time i do not support it either..

i……..ALWAYS AM short of words to express..what i really feel at times..about “love”..about..what i really want…

may be my perception of love is very unusual and probably wrong..but then tell me what is right ??..you say i am a prisoner of my past,if i were i would have never moved on, never let gone of my loved ones,never would have let them have their ways..

yes my past is a very important reason for changing my ideology about love and all..yes my past has changed me into what you see me today.. but i am not living in my past..

i want to keep all my emotions aside and follow just one path..that of my dreams..which at present have no place for love and feelings and relationships…mainly new ones..

i live not to love.. i do not love to live…may be because i know of its powers.. whisch makes me shudder now..

ever wondered why i don’t dance most of the time.. or sing when i am very good at it.. and i know it..because.. i fear to express my feelings…i …

i do not expect you or anyone else to understand me because..honestly i do not understand myself any better..

the only thing that pricks me is that everyday every moment i make a person suffer who loves me…which seems to have a become a punishment for him rather than being a blessing..

i curse myself for being so helpless , not being able to tell him that.. please….don’t love me so much.. i am sorry but i doubt i will ever be able to love you the way i love the only person i have ever ever ever ever managed loved from the time i first felt love……….

i know someday you’ll read this.. but i request you this time not to answer me back.. because this time i will; have nothing to say to you…or nothing to answer you…